- "Friedrich Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake," McSweeney's Internet Tendency
- "Anaïs Nin's Hot Cross Buns," The Rumpus
- "Carl Jung's Epiphany Cakes: A Memoir in Recipe Form," The Foundling Review
- "Ayn Rand's Head Cheese," The Revolving Floor
- "Sigmund Freud's 10 Steps to Great Fish," Narwhal
- "F. Scott Fitzgerald's Pickled Tomatoes," Monkeybicycle (an imprint of Dzanc Press)
- "Dorothy's Parker House Rolls," The Smoking Poet, now on Fictionaut
- "Great Moments in Product-Placement Poetry," McSweeney's Internet Tendency
- "Phoenix Complaining," Miranda Literary Magazine, now on Fictionaut
- "Early Thoughts on the Oedipus Complex," jmww and The Linnet's Wings, now on Fictionaut
- "From the Notebook of John T. Cacciopo," Metazen
- "The Splendid Me," Sillymess